Whenever a lad hits up on me and asks me where I came from, I always tell them I came from a floating island in Gulliver's Travels. They laugh. Those little bastards don't know it's Laputa. Guess I'll have to change my address, whaddya think?

At my age, you're going to realise that you'd rather enjoy all the vacant time you've been handed, rather than sit around on you tuchus all day. Recently I picked up on reading smutty novels and watching pornography to occupy my time.

Dressing up men in pretty lingerie is a fantasy that has always been just that, a fantasy. After all these years I'm still looking for fit blokes who love to be praised and aren't put off when I call them "pretty" or "lovely". I just want to worship ...

I go on benders during the first weekend of the month and never missed it ever since it started. I can still hold my drink in and keep up with the energetic lads-- we be fucking in one of the pub's bathroom stalls. I don't look my age and I plan to t...

I am sure there are a lot of girls who you may find more attractive than me, but I am sure that they can't fuck you the way I can. I have the looks, the experience, and the stamina to fuck you out of this world if I want to do it.

I like lads who act like a complete knucklehead but can perform well in everything they do. The stark contrast between their relaxed and carefree personality and serious self makes me want to take them home with me.